All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
