Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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