brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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