they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She even gives head with a lisp.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
