i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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