I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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