Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
North Korea, Best Korea!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
