I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
