did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
