No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
