Reggie can tackle my bush.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
