i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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