FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
