..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize