My girlfriend figured out who you are.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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