dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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