so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
