You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
