stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
