it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
