If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
