He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
