I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
