dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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