Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
