the condom got lost in my hair
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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