ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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