I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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