I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
