Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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