I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
its liver damage thursday
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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