I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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