I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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