And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
