Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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