I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize