you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
