i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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