She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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