There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
