pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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