Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
