it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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