chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
