we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
