Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
