omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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