i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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