i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
