i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
