see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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