why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
only you would photoshop your dick
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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