There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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