I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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