If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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