i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
