We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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