She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
