I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize