Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize