There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Randomize
