At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
