What did we do last night that was yellow?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
foreskin is a definite game changer
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
